Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Who's The Villian In Your Story?

Yes, I’ve been watching too much “Grey’s Anatomy.” But sometimes these candy pop shows can be surprisingly insightful.

As I’ve been talking about a lot lately, I’m beginning to realize that it’s important to filter the people who come through your life. They’re not all going to make the “best friend” list. Then again, they might not make any list at all. And it doesn’t make you or me a horrible person for making that decision.

You know, there was a time when I was really picky about my friends, but in a different way than I am now. Now, for me, it’s about the people who I know I can count on. I hope those out there whom I call my friends know that they can always count on me.

Obviously, whether to include/keep someone in your life isn’t a snap decision that you make on a whim. It’s a decision that comes after a lot of thought and soul searching.

I’ve been wondering whether it’s easier to remember those who are the antagonists in our lives or the protagonists. As I said before, sometimes the simplest gestures mean the most. Then again, I feel like a lot of times I come back to the hurt that others have caused (and some continue to do).

But I guess as with anything in life, we have to take the good with the bad, and that includes people, too!


  1. Two thoughts:
    First, a friend of mine at UC Irvine is writing a social theory term paper on Grey's Anatomy. :) (The assignment was, use social theory to analyze something in pop culture.)

    Second, I remember when I changed my thinking about friends as well. It's hard for me to describe it precisely, but it had a couple features. Like realizing, as much as I disliked it, that it mattered more to me how my friends treated me than how they treated others. I've been friends with some real jerks in my time, but they were (almost) always nice to me. When I was younger, I could not accept that dichotomy. When I got older, well... I guess I got a bit less judgmental about it, or just more needy, I don't know. My priorities changed. Also, I can't remember who my friend was quoting, but some author made a suggestion that you should only be friends with people who generally make you feel good about yourself and who you are feel good when you spend time with them. I like that standard, as I have definitely had a few friends here and there who would not have fit.

    The hardest thing though, is realizing that the list you want to put someone on is not the list they would like you to be on. I think that general description describes the majority of the social problems I've had in the last few years.

  2. As always, Dan,thanks for your thoughtful and insightful comments!