The Second Trimester

It’s hard to believe that at 35 weeks of pregnancy, I’m just getting around to writing about the second trimester. But such is life. Although the first trimester seemed to drag on, the second trimester seemed to fly by.

While the nausea of the first trimester thankfully retreated around week 14, the fatigue remained. I did get a few weeks of reprieve, but I didn’t take nearly enough advantage of it before the fatigue came back full force and even worse than before.

They say the second trimester is the “honeymoon” period and I guess in a way, it is. I wasn’t at the totally uncomfortable stage yet.

And while lupus and RA have continued to lay low, at around the end of second trimester, I started to feel that my immune system was starting to become overactive. Like it was trying to tell me that it had been accepting of this uninvited guest for seven-ish months, but not so much anymore. It felt like my nerve endings were sometimes on fire. And I kind of had that feeling of being tired and run down, almost coming down with something but never actually getting sick.

As far as symptoms in the second trimester, like I said, good old fatigue was back in full force, along with severe heartburn (thanks baby hair) and itching (more on that in another post; forthcoming).

As far as cravings, French fries continued, along with potato chips and popcorn. Plus protein. I’ve never been one to eat protein without a bun, but I often found myself going for straight protein (the plant-based kind, of course). Iced tea was the other thing that I majorly craved, and not just because it was summer.

Though there was nothing I wanted so bad that I woke my husband up in the middle of the night and in the most Veruca Salt-y way said “I want this, and I WANT IT NOW.” I’m sure he was relieved that there were never any middle of the night runs to the store. But we definitely have learned that our son’s carb addiction is no joke. I hope he’ll still want to eat potatoes when the time comes.

The only aversion I really experienced was to coffee still. But I anticipate that once the baby is here and I am sleep deprived, coffee will definitely be a staple in my life once again.

One thing we weren’t quite expecting was the frequency of appointments and the level of surveillance that would start in the second trimester and continue through the third trimester. Looking back, it makes sense given the high risk nature of this pregnancy, but we didn’t feel fully informed or prepared when it was sprung on us that we’d be seeing the high risk OB every other week until 30 weeks and then weekly after that, along with having fetal echocardiograms from the beginning of the second trimester every other week until 28 weeks and then a final one at 32 weeks.

For me, pregnancy has been harder than I expected. While my autoimmune stuff has been mostly quiet, my body pretty much hasn’t felt like my own the entire time.

The First Trimester

The first trimester is tough. No one tells you how hard it's going to be. While I’m lucky that lupus and RA have been quiet, the nausea and fatigue have been a lot. RA fatigue has nothing on pregnancy fatigue, in my opinion. 

And I keep telling my husband that while this whole pregnancy thing is harder than I expected it would be, I’m grateful, endlessly grateful. There were certainly times when I never thought I’d get here, even at the end of 2020, when we were trying and not succeeding. The disappointment I felt each month as my period came was really indescribable.

And given the medications I’ve been on in the past, and the fact that it wasn’t really until our consultation with the high risk specialist last summer that gave me hope, there was certainly a part of me that wondered if pregnancy would even be possible at all.

But then, almost inexplicably, there was no period. I had been five days late before, so it didn't really phase me. And I was having a lot of cramping, so I was assuming I would just get my period (like come on, already). No one tells you that all of the traditional PMS symptoms are also early pregnancy symptoms.  

And then, after being a week late, I realized I probably needed to take a test. I didn’t even get a chance to leave the bathroom, that’s how quick it changed. And when the test came back positive, I was shocked, and excited, and scared. Waiting for my husband to get home from work to tell him the news was torture. But finding out I was actually pregnant made me realize that my body, which has at times tried to evict its primary resident (me!), was now doing an even more important job. But I felt like I had less control than ever. I’ve felt like my body is truly not my own.

Even after the positive pregnancy test, I didn’t really believe it. Going into my confirmation appointment, I just kept hoping that the pregnancy test at the doctor’s office came back positive (it did!). And then I hoped that my HCG would be higher than 5 (it was 140,000!). Going into the first ultrasound, I was like “please, please let there actually be a baby in there.” I don’t know if it’s Jewish superstition or first time mom anxiety or chronic illness anxiety or a combination, but it’s been a hard mix of wanting to be excited while dealing with my feelings of not being able to trust my own body.

It’s weird to go from having no control over your body without agreeing or consenting to that due to illness, to signing up for that for nine months. But it’s different. As my OB told me, “You’re not ill, you’re pregnant.” Though I want to say “then why are we medicalizing the heck out of this experience?” But I know that the end goal is a healthy baby and a healthy me, so if that means a million and one doctor’s appointments, I’ll take it.

In the first trimester, I lost five pounds, which was slightly distressing to me. But my doctor doesn’t seem too concerned. And I’m sure that as the nausea retreats, I’ll start eating more and will make up for lost pounds.

I knew going in that during pregnancy, I wanted to maintain the vegan lifestyle that I’ve been living for about two and a half years (I was vegetarian for 15 years prior to going vegan). And I was upfront with both my regular OB and the high risk OB about that before I was even pregnant. Don’t try to convince me otherwise.

It’s weird, though, I have been craving protein – thankfully not of the animal variety. But I can literally say I’ve never craved protein in my whole life prior to being pregnant.

Aside from protein, I’ve craved French fries, which is weird because I’m not really a French fry person. Early on I also craved smoothies because it was about all I could stomach. I’ve also had a propensity for avocados and clementines, not so much in the last few weeks, but definitely for several weeks earlier on. Thankfully, none of the cravings have been so bad that I’ve woken my husband up in the middle of the night and been like “I need French fries now.”

As far as symptoms go, I’ve had fatigue, nausea, acne, and been freezing cold all the time, even when it’s 85 degrees outside.

All I can say is that so far this experience has been wild. It has been an adventure already and we’ve only seen our little bean once. I’m starting high risk appointments every other week, so I’m sure we will be seeing a lot more of him or her. And I hope that things stay calm and uneventful. 

I’m Pregnant. We’re Pregnant. We’re Having a Baby.

Well, that’s the big announcement. My husband and I are expecting. 

We’re so, so grateful. There was a large part of my 20s where I couldn’t even get a doctor to entertain what it would look like for me to get pregnant. And now, at 35, here I am and here we are. 

I’ll have more to say in a post devoted to the first trimester, including when and how we found out, etc.