Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Inside Doesn't Match The Outside

The other day as I was making my way down the stairs of my third floor walk-up, I glanced out the window.The sun was shining and it was truly a beautiful day.

What a sham, I thought!?!

The inside really doesn’t match the outside.

I was trying to make my way down the stairs, but my legs didn’t want to cooperate. Every step down the stairs was like a hammer hit to my knees, making me feel like at any moment, my legs were going to shatter into a million pieces.

I know, a third floor walk-up, not the smartest move for a person like me. But I moved into my apartment (not so) long before I realized what was happening to me. And I’m far too exhausted at this point to move.

But, you know, this disjunction occurs on a daily basis.

On the outside, I appear to be vibrant, young, and healthy. But on the inside, I feel old, broken, damaged.

The inside doesn’t match the outside.


  1. Please be careful with the stairs. As a fellow Lupus and arthritis patient, I am very familiar with how dangerous they can be. I have fallen down stairs twice in the last 6 months. You don't see it coming, your body just doesn't make the next step. Please be careful. :)

  2. That's good advice, Solaroil, especially since these are sort of stone steps! I will definitely keep that in mind. You be careful, as well! It's funny how are bodies betray us...