Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Illness And Appearance

Illness and appearance can be a tricky thing, especially when you have an “invisible” disease.

But I wonder where people get off thinking that they can make comments about my appearance.

Now I’m not talking here about compliments – real, actual compliments – feel free to keep those coming.

I’m talking about people that say things like, you look so much better than you did the last time I saw you, or you’re face is looking much better than it was, or you’re looking less bloated today.

I wonder how these people would feel if I said something like this to them.

Wow, I see you’ve managed to remove your head from your butt.

Now really, I would never say that. But sometimes I really want to.

I really don’t think that the (un)sick would appreciate a comment like, you look better than you did the last time I saw you.

But since I’m sick, it’s okay to make comments like that. Because I don’t have my health, I don’t have any feelings either?

I think it’s funny. These backhanded comments don’t come from people I see all the time, but ones that I see every few weeks or months. It’s like they think they know me or something, or know what I’m going through. But this is kind of impossible since they rarely see or talk to me in the interim.

And believe it or not, I know how I look. I went through the sweat pants only phase, through the my face is so bloated I would rather not leave the house phase.

I don’t insist on reminding these people of their insensitivity or idiocy, so why do they remind me of my personal failings? I know, it’s pretty crazy that I left the house sometimes looking the way I did or admitted that I hadn’t gotten dressed in the dark.

But in life, we have to take the good with the bad, and that includes appearance, too!


  1. When I told my ex-husband I have lupus his response was there was nothing wrong with me. He said that if I would just lose weight it would all go away. He said being fat was making me feel bad. That is just one reason he is my "ex" husband. lol
    People can be very hurtful. It's frustrating for sure.

  2. You know, everyone slips up occasionally. We all say things we don't mean. But hurtful comments like that are the tip of the iceberg. If these people were really our friends, I don't think they would say things like that. Or would they?

  3. I can totally relate to this. I was diagnosed with Sjogrens and Lupus....just recently I have been told I don't have Lupus....maybe something else with the Sjogrens. I get the bloated face one TONS!