Friday, April 18, 2008

Making Amends

When all of this first started and I was feeling completely awful, but no one could figure out what was wrong with me, I was struck by the immediate need to mend broken relationships in my life. This seemed to me like an incredibly important thing to do.

However, it was not met with the same enthusiasm by those I sought forgiveness from.

Now, I wouldn’t say I had done anything that was truly abominable to those I sought solace from. But I felt like there were loose ends that I wanted to try and mend.

Even so, most people didn’t even bother to respond.

And do you know why? I think it freaks people out. It takes a lot of courage to be the bigger person and want to put the past behind you. And I just think that some people aren’t mature enough to step up to that challenge.

While I was disappointed that the situations weren’t resolved, I felt better knowing that I had taken the initiative to make amends. Now the ball was in the other person’s court. And even if I didn’t get the response I had hoped for, I knew that I was the bigger person, and in some small way, I felt forgiven, anyway.

1 comment:

  1. Hello, I've just started reading your blog, and so far, i've followed the same trajectory, right down to making amends. I went through a rough patch in college before being diagnosed three long years later, post-college. Thanks for chronicling and sharing your story!