When I read Laurie Edwards’s concept for Grand Rounds, I really wanted to submit something. But where to begin? I’ve only been blogging since April, but there are so many posts to pick from.
So, I decided to jump in headfirst and re-read most of the posts that I have written. It was tough deciding on these posts, especially the top one, but here are the top 13 (because that’s how many I picked) best posts:
13. "Coming Out"
12. Why Does Hurt, Hurt?
11. The Secrets We Keep, The Lies We Tell
9. Would You Rather Be A good, Sick Person, Or A Healthy, Bad Person?
8. Making The Choice And Facing The Consequences
7. Left Of Center
6. “Illness As Metaphor” For Life
5. Forced Disclosure And The Battle Within
4. To Heck With "Normal"
3. The Hospital As “Pick-Up Joint”
2. How Do You Get Your Doctors To Talk To Each Other?
And the winner is…
1. “First Do No Harm”
It’s funny (and coincidental) that so many of these posts turned out to be ones that were submitted for Grand Rounds (at least I’m consistent) and that the number one post happens to have “first” in the title.
I’ve learned a lot about others around me and myself over the last eight months that I’ve been blogging. But it was really interesting to go back and re-read many of my posts, to see if I agreed with everything that I said, and that the thoughts and feelings still apply today. For the most part, they do.
There are common issues throughout the posts, some more obvious than others. I talk about the obvious things; school, doctor’s appointments, etc. But I also talk a lot about desperately wanting to be healthy again, and what it feels like, physically and emotionally, to be ill (abnormal).
I also notice that there is a different tone to my posts. The older ones are much more tentative. I’m clearly unsure if I have the right to own up to my illnesses (or if I even want to), to consider myself an “expert” (as in I have firsthand experience) on the topic of chronic illness.
I’m sort of amazed at my candidness. But there were, and still are, times when this blog is all I have to turn to. Sometimes I can’t believe how coherent my thoughts come across. At other times, I can’t believe how abstract and nonsensical I can be.
I feel like I’ve come a long way in the past eight months and I have many of the people I’ve met through blogging to thank for that. I won’t name names here, but you all know who you are and how much you are appreciated. If it weren’t for the readers of this blog, there wouldn’t even be a favorite post, let alone a list of 13 of them.
Comment on which post is your favorite, and feel free to mention one that isn’t on my list!