For the March 2013 edition of Patients For A Moment, I asked bloggers to write a post about the worst, most stupid, offensive, hurtful, or just plain dumb comments they had ever received from someone in regards to their illness.
To start off, Aviva from Sick Momma, wrote the post “People Say The Darndest Things”. Not only does Aviva share some of the ridiculous things people have said to her, she also shares a story of her saying something to a chronically ill friend that maybe she shouldn’t have said. It just goes to show that even though, as chronically ill people, we tend to be more aware and careful about the things we say, we are occasionally guilty of putting our foot in our own mouths from time to time, even when we are talking about illness. I love her honesty!
At In Sickness As In Health, Barbara Kivowitz shares with us the post, “Dumb Things Practitioners Have Said”. She says that the dumbest thing a doctor has ever said to her was suggesting her partner wait in the waiting room. Barbara says that couples are dealing with illness together, and even though, in most cases, only one partner is sick, they should both be viewed by doctors as integral parts of illness experience.
Duncan Cross shares the post, “DO NOT Guess My Weight”. While the title of the post made me think of those giant scales at carnivals where a carnival worker tries to guess your weight, and if they don’t, you win a prize, this post is actually very serious. Duncan says that he usually tries not to let the stupid things people say bother him, with one exception – when people comment on his weight and offer up wishes of being able to lose weight like him (which, of course, he doesn’t do on purpose and is due to his illness). I love his wry humor!
Many of us who have been on Prednisone have experienced comments like Duncan has about our weight, but in the opposite direction – of how we’ve gotten rounder or our face has gotten fuller. And it’s like, thank you captain obvious, as if I hadn’t noticed this myself without needing someone to make it 100% clear to me. Anyway, I digress…
From Sometimes, it is Lupus, Iris Carden shares two posts with us. The first is a post titled “Helpful Advice”, in which she talks about well-meaning people who offer advice when they have no clue about chronic illness. The second is a post titled “At Least You Don’t Have Cancer”. Iris says that a lot of times, people will minimize her dealing with Lupus and tell her that because she doesn’t have cancer, she doesn’t have it so bad after all. I personally hate it when people compare suffering. The who-has-it-worse game isn’t productive, in my view, and I totally understand Iris’s frustration in this regard.
I’ll end this edition with my post, “Shit Tactless Idiots Say To Sick People,” which was the inspiration for this edition of PFAM. In the post, I went through some of the dumbest comments I have heard in regards to my illnesses and possible come backs.
No one who has a chronic illness is immune to receiving comments from others that at best frustrating and at worse make us want to never share anything about our illnesses with others ever again.
Thanks to those who submitted their posts for this edition.
The next edition of PFAM will be April 15, 2013, and will be hosted by Selena at Oh My Aches and Pains!.