It also
made me realize that some of the comforts of home involve my illnesses.
There were
two and a half days in the last two weeks in which I felt really bad.
The day
after I got home, it rained all day, so that left me with a headache and
totally spacey feeling.
Then we
were going to a Tiger’s (baseball) game.
I woke up feeling fine, but a few hours later ended up with a pretty bad
headache. I went back to bed and told my
sister to wake me up, and each time, asked for another half an hour, because
every time I tried to lift my head off of the pillow, I overcome with dizziness. Eventually, it got to the point where I didn’t
have another half an hour before we needed to leave.
So I got
up and dressed.
The nice
thing was that my family told me I didn’t have to go to the game, if I didn’t
feel up to it. Or, I could go, and if I didn’t
feel well, we could leave the game.
It was so
nice. But I told them that I would go,
that I would rally. And I did.
But I always
struggle with trying to rally and simply waiting until I feel better to do
things. Sometimes I wonder whether I wouldn’t
start to feel better just by pushing myself to get out of bed.
However, then
there are real feelings of not feeling well, that you can’t shake, no matter
what.
But what
was really refreshing was to have people just get it. Who I didn’t have to explain to, and who I wouldn’t
have to justify myself to if I wouldn’t have been able to rally.
And that’s
a big part of what is missing in New York.
Aside from my family, of course. I
feel like I have to have an explanation for everything I don’t do. The lifestyle in New York City is just go,
go, go, do, do, do, no matter what. And that
just doesn’t work for me.
I pride
myself in my ability to rally. Sometimes
it takes an hour and I can bounce back.
Other times, it takes hours. And other
times, it doesn’t happen at all.
But with
my family, the important thing is being together. So whether that means me being in bed and my
parents being in the next room, going to a baseball game or the mall or
whatever, it doesn’t matter. Because we’re
together. And now that I live in New
York, we get that time so much less often than we used to.
But that
time is sacred. And so is my
health. And when it comes to my family,
those two things happen to go together.
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