Other than sharing that my dad died, I didn’t really get
into the specifics of what happened. I
wasn’t ready, and was trying to see how some things going on in the background
played out.
In an effort to protect those involved, I tried to stay as
silent as possible while trying to do as much as possible. But it has become clear that such tactics
will get me nowhere. And now I am ready
to share about this publicly in the hope that sharing this will move things
forward in a positive and productive way.
As many of you do know, there was a severe storm in Michigan
on August 11, 2014, that caused widespread flooding. My dad was trying to make his way home from
work. Eventually, my mom could not reach
my dad and had a vague description from him about where he was.
My dad was never 15 minutes late, so my mom became extremely
worried, given that and the dangerous nature of the storm, after more time went
by and my dad was still not home. She
attempted to file a missing person’s report at all of the local police
departments in the area, but they all refused because my dad had not been
missing for 24- to 48-hours.
As it turns out, this waiting period is a fictitious rule
that has been popularized on TV shows.
It’s encouraging to know that, that’s how some police departments come
up with their policies – TV.
Ultimately, while my dad was noted as missing, he wasn’t put
in the state database, which would have prompted law enforcement to look for
him. With him simply being in the county
database, nothing was done.
My dad was found almost 24 hours later, dead in his
car. He wasn’t found by the police, but
by a man who had seen him (alive) the night before.
For my family and I, the question we will never stop asking
is whether things might have turned out differently if the police had been out
looking for him. Of course, those in law
enforcement make themselves feel better by saying it wouldn’t have mattered,
but they don’t have to live with that question for the rest of their lives like
we do.
There are many things I have done already. I share this so that if people have other
ideas, they can let me know, but I won’t end up with tons of comments telling
me to do what I’ve already done:
-
Wrote a letter to my parents’ local
police department to express concern about the way the situation was handled,
including botched death notification.
-
Had a terrible phone conversation with
a lieutenant from the above department, who told me that my dad didn’t warrant
departmental resources, which prompted me to write a letter to state
officials.
-
Obtained police report via Freedom of
Information Act request, which caused me to question why my dad had not been
entered into the statewide database.
-
Wrote letter to state officials.
-
Worked with several offices to see what
could be done about this situation.
-
Contacted detective that was assigned
to my dad’s case.
-
Obtained death certificate. Cause of death is listed as “atherosclerotic
heart disease.” The problem with this is
that according to this NPR article - http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/05/20/408011861/map-reveals-the-distinctive-cause-of-death-in-each-state - atherosclerotic heart disease is the most common cause of
death in the state of Michigan. Do they
just throw that on every person’s death certificates when they don’t know for
sure? I have maintained throughout this
past 15 months that the cause of death was not natural because if it hadn’t
been for the storm and the lack of law enforcement action, my dad would still
be alive.
-
Tried to get in contact with the person
who my dad had spoken to on the street where he was found. Unable to do so.
-
Spoke to someone high up in Michigan
law enforcement administration that was referred to me by one of the
representatives I was working with. I
was told that legislatively, nothing can be done. I’ve been told that a law that goes back to
1968 says that people may be entered into the database immediately, but this is
not a requirement. There are two
problems with this. First, if missing
persons are entered into the database at the discretion of local departments,
this will continue to happen. Second,
there are protections for children and the elderly, but apparently, everyone
aged 18-75 doesn’t matter. I am told
that if everyone “missing” is entered into the database, it will be a strain on
resources, but this has not proven to be the case in states that have adopted
similar legislation.
-
Decided to no longer remain
silent. Started change.org
petition.
Something I have struggled with over the last year is
grappling with this tragedy while also living with my chronic illnesses. When I first got sick, I selfishly thought
that getting sick was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. Then, when my dad died, the worst thing that
ever happened to me, happened to someone else.
That has rocked me.
I have always been open and honest with my readers, and it
has pained me not to share this experience with you. I have been wanting to. But I needed to do it at the right time. Is there ever a right time? Probably not.
But right now is the right time.
Here’s what I need from you:
I ask that you please sign and share the following
change.org petition - https://www.change.org/p/michigan-state-house-michigan-state-senate-pass-neal-s-law
You don’t have to live in Michigan to sign!
I am so grateful to those that have already signed, shared,
and posted comments of support.
I’m working on a book about this experience, which I will
hopefully have some time to work on more in the next few months. I ask that you assist me with this when the
time is right.
I have been told that nothing legislative can happen, but I
don’t believe that, hence the petition.
What I have told those in the system is that I will no longer remain
silent. I will share this story far and
wide until something gets done so that no other family in Michigan experiences
what my family and I did.
Although my dad was missing for “just” 24 hours, I can’t
describe to you the feeling when you don’t know where your loved one is. It’s indescribable. It was the longest 24 hours of my entire
life. So I can only imagine what those
people go through whose loved ones are missing for longer or are never found at
all. No family should have to live with
the question of whether their loved one would still be alive if law enforcement
had acted expediently.
This is the mantra that I will live by in order to persevere
although many in power stand in my way:
“Whoever destroys a soul, it is considered as if he
destroyed an entire world. And whoever
saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world.”
– Mishnah Sanhedrin
4:9; Yerushalmi Talmud, Tractate
Sanhedrin 37a