Shit Tactless Idiots Say To Sick People

So this “meme” might be “over”, but I couldn’t resist calling out some people on their shit.  These are things that have been said to me recently. 

Seriously. 

And sometimes, rather than be upset about something and turn it inward, it’s better to let it out.  Because the reality is, it’s not me that has a problem; it’s the people who have said these things to me that are the ones with a problem.

“You made my job really hard” – Lab Tech

Context: This comment was made by a lab tech at the student health center after she stuck me twice for four tubes of blood and basically got nothing. 

My hypothetical response: “You make my life hard, and you don’t hear me telling you about it.”

“You made me work for my money today, and I don’t make a lot” – Lab Tech

Context: This zinger came after the lab tech above, from a different lab tech at the student health center.  She stuck me twice, and while she did get the blood she needed, she had plenty of time to tell me exactly what she thought about me and my veins. 

My hypothetical response: “Really?  That’s your effing job.  I don’t get paid at all to be a patient, and that’s a full-time job.” 

“I’m a little sick too, but doing well enough to come in” – Co-TA

Context: If the intent of this comment wasn’t asshole-ish, I’m not sure what is.  I was pretty much floored by this e-mail response to me telling my professor and co-TAs that I wouldn’t be in class.  I had several rebuttals, but ultimately erred on the side of saying nothing to the person that said it.  It just wasn’t worth it.

My hypothetical response: “I had a colposcopy today, asshole.  Look it up, and then tell me if you would have come to class.”

“So, aside from lupus and RA, you’re perfectly healthy, right?” – Doctor (won’t tell you which specialist it was, but it wasn’t my rheumatologist)

Context: This was said to me the first time I started seeing a new doc. 

My hypothetical response: Honestly, I don’t have a good response because this comment just doesn’t make any sense to me.  Being chronically ill and perfectly healthy just don’t jive with one another.  If she had asked if I had any other significant medical issues, that would have at least made a little more sense.  This comment feels kind of patronizing to me. 

“Come on, you really can’t bend your arm any straighter?” – Various lab techs

Context: I really hate this.  It happens nearly every time I go to get blood drawn.  I wish they could put a note in my file that every lab tech sees, telling them to absolutely not say this to me.  It really bugs me.

My hypothetical response: “No, I can’t bend my arm any straighter.  I have rheumatoid arthritis, thank you very much.”

“Your charts so big, I didn’t bother to read it” or “I wasn’t sure if I’d met you before, but then I saw the size of your chart and know I would have remembered you.” (and other similar versions) – Various Doctors

Context: This has happened to me several times.  And it is really frustrating.  Yes, I have a big chart for someone my age.  But I’m not going to apologize for it.

My hypothetical response: “Bigger is better, right?”

“As nurses, we hate when insurance companies deny prior authorizations because it’s so much paperwork for us and takes so long.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s my job, but appealing takes so much work, especially if they deny it again.” – Nurse from GI Doc’s Office

Context: This was said to me over the phone by a nurse from my GI docs office.  My insurance denied the prior authorization for Amitiza.  Unfortunately, because my prescription insurance changes on October 1^st, there was really no point in trying to appeal because they probably wouldn’t be able to make a decision in time. 

My hypothetical response: “Yes, it is your job.  And your loyalty should be to me the patient, not pandering to the insurance companies because it adds extra work for you.  Think of all the extra work added to my life by being chronically ill.”

Ultimately, there are a lot of stupid and tactless people in the world.

The thing that I think frustrates me about of all these comments is that they all point to me, the patient, making ones job harder, whether it’s doctors, lab techs, pharmacy techs, insurance people, nurses, etc.  When in reality, the only person I really feel for is myself. 

I don’t mean that to sound selfish, but I’m being blamed for things I can’t control.  I can’t control my veins, the size of my chart, the fact that my insurance company is stupid, and all of the other comments being lobbed at me.  I’m the sick one.  

Thank goodness that I have a filter, because I would have reamed these people out otherwise.

Have you had similar things said to you?  If so, what are they, and how did you deal with them?

Please feel free to add your own zingers to the comments.  I would love to compile responses, and am thinking of making this the theme for PFAM when I host in December.