Accepting Responsibility

So, I’ve started to realize that my somewhat strained relationship with Doctor C is partly my fault. While that’s not to say that at times, Doctor C has a less than friendly personality, I think that in some ways, I’ve been expecting too much.

I think I’ve been resenting the fact that Doctor C can’t answer, what is to me, still the most important question.

Why?

Why is this happening to me?

Not only can Doctor C not answer those questions, but no one can.
Sure, there are medical answers, like my immune system has decided to go haywire on itself.

But the philosophical reasons, the core as to why this is happening to me at this point in my life, no one has the ability to answer.

I think I’ve been angry that his is happening at all, and Doctor C seemed like the most logical person on which to place the blame, which is completely unfair. It seemed logical at the time, but now I realize that Doctor C was really the one to jumpstart treatment and really tried to make an effort to work on making me feel better.